Interchanges re Pickup Orders With the Parlor and Pizzeria Bianco (Phoenix)

Below are the text of an email sent today to The Parlor and a feedback form sent to Pizzeria Bianco. The only thing I can conclude is, at least as far as they are concerned, the restaurant business is not in any kind of trouble:

Re The Parlor: I wanted to do an order to pick up, but, before placing the order by phone, I asked how you do no-contact/drop-in-the-trunk pick-up orders. It was clear you do not have an efficient, easy system for that which is surprising how simple it would be for you to implement one particularly given having your own parking lot. Just order something from Total Wine or Beckett’s Table or Southern Rail or a host of other places and you’ll see. As I tried to explain this to whomever answered the phone, my input was clearly unwelcome because, as he said, “we are doing great as is” and so there was no interest in doing anything different. Please understand, I am not complaining. I truly was just trying to be helpful, and to explain why I would not be placing an order. I have long loved your food and wish you all the best. 

PS: I do know I can have it delivered but, from what I can tell, there is no scheduling ahead … because when I tried to do that, as you can see in the attached screenshot, it said “currently not available.”

PPS: Response from Alice at The Parlor: "I am sorry that the phone call left you feeling this way.  We can absolutely do a contactless drop upon request.  I will speak to the person that took your call and get more info so I can better understand what the confusion was for him.  I will have to check into postmates as far as that feature is concerned as well.  If you would like to place and [sic] order through, we will definitely make that happen for you.  You can call ahead and place an order for a later time too.  Let me know how I can help with this.  Plus, we are offering 25% off from 11-5 everyday on food, but that is not an option through postmates:). "

Thanks for reaching out.  I appreciate all the feedback. We can always revisit our systems and be better.  I hope to hear from you soon

Re Pizzeria Bianco (Town & Country): I wanted to do an order to pick up, but, before placing the order by phone, I called to ask how you do no-contact/drop-in-the-trunk pick-up orders. It was clear you do not have that option available at least at your Town & Country location. Indeed, unlike many many restaurants and other establishments, you require a signature. And, while your rep said you sanitize the pen you give the customer, she admitted that there was no way for the customer to get the pen and maintain a 6-feet separation. According to Google, you do not have delivery. Just order something from Total Wine or Beckett’s Table or Southern Rail or a host of other places and you’ll see how easy drop-in-the-trunk no-contact pickup is. Please understand, I am not complaining. I truly am just trying to be helpful, and to explain why I would not be placing an order. I have long loved your food and wish you all the best.

Four Easy Tweaks to Make Alexa Easier to Talk With

Change Alexa's speaking speed

If your Amazon Echo is talking too fast or too slow for you, you can tell it to speed up or slow down. Just say "Alexa, speak faster" or "Alexa, speak slower." You can also reset it to its default speed by saying "Alexa, speak at your default rate." Alexa has seven talking speeds -- four faster, two slower and the default speed.

Amazon Echo Buds

13 PHOTOS

Echo can play a sound when Alexa is triggered

Once you've got your Amazon Echo up to speed, there's another feature that's especially useful for when you're not in the same room as your Echo. It's called Request Sounds and it plays a sound at the start of your request and the end. For example, when you say "Alexa" it'll play a noise to let you know you triggered the device. 

To enable this feature, open the Alexa app and tap Devices > All Devices > select your Echo > tap Sounds > and toggle on the switch for Start of Request and End of Request.

Hear shorter responses from Alexa

If you don't like it when Alexa repeats everything you say, you can turn on a setting called Brief Mode for shorter responses. So instead of Alexa saying "OK, turning on the lights," it'll just say "OK." 

To turn the setting on, open the Alexa app menu and select Settings. Under the Alexa Preferences section, tap Voice Responses, then toggle the switch on for Brief Mode.

Turn on Brief Mode to hear shorter responses from Alexa.

Chris Monroe/CNET

Whisper to Alexa

Another setting you'll appreciate in the middle of the night is Alexa's Whisper Mode. This setting allows Alexa to whisper back to you. You don't even have to open the Alexa app for this one, just whisper to the voice assistant and it'll automatically activate the low tone. 

Now that you've got Alexa's communication settings updated, here's four top Amazon Echo features to perfect and improve now, three irritating Amazon Echo pet peeves and how to fix them and six Amazon Echo settings you won't regret changing.

Update re Suggestion to AJ's (Phoenix)

Four days ago, as noted in a blog post, I sent a suggestion to AJ's that read as follows: "In the Sunday Arizona Republic at Page A-1, you advertise $5 off any large "Hand-Tossed" Brick Oven Pizza. You might reconsider promoting your pizza as 'hand-tossed,' that being a feature at least some consumers might not find desirable given the circumstances." Today, I received a response from their Executive Assistant that read as follows: "Thank you for your interest in AJ's Fine Foods.  We appreciate your concern and your comments -  We agree with your response and feel that during this current situation it would be best to remove this copy from any future promotions at this time. Thank you for bringing this to our attention." Putting aside that I expressed no interest in AJ's, that they didn't even offer me a $5 discount should I ever shop there is quite flabbergasting.  

Why Trump Will Replace Pence on the Ticket

[The below is from the Arizona Republic (April 30). Actually, Pence's refusal to wear a face mask at Mayo likely was at Trump's direction, so that is not why Trump will dump him from the ticket. More likely Trump's thinking will be that Nikki Haley can do him more good]

Trump Trip to Arizona: No Mask, No Visit

Text of letter to the Arizona Republic: "Honeywell, which is making PPE at the facility President Trump is scheduled to visit in Arizona next week, should condition the visit on his wearing a mask. Not only would doing so demonstrate that Honeywell has a modicum of integrity, it also would underscore that Honeywell and Arizona are abiding the federal guidelines supposedly endorsed by Trump." 

The Presidential Elections Cannot Be Canceled, Although We Can Hope They Are

On March 24, on a tip from a loyal reader, we published a post explaining that, if the elections were canceled, on January 20, by operation of law, Trump would cease to be president and Pelosi would become president. On April 30, apparently thinking enough time had passed that everyone would forget our blog post, the WSJ published an article making the same point. As if publishing fake news were not enough for the MSM, now we see they won't hesitate to publish stale news. Both the WSJ and our earlier post are linked below:

Link to WSJ Article

Link to Earlier Blog Post

Beckett's Table and Southern Rail (Phoenix): PS

The food at Beckett's Table and Southern Rail is wonderful (and the fried chicken is beyond description). They do delivery and no-contact pickup. Here's the thing: Even if you have just one cellmate with you in your sheltering, you are way better off from a cost-basis to do one of the 4-meal specials (unless you don't drink wine). Here's why: Most meals are like $25, so two meals cost $50. The meal specials are like $85-95 and include a bottle of a nice wine (so I'm told ... it's not Yellow Tail so I don't drink it). So, when you run the math, your per meal cost on the 4-meal deal is WAY LOWER than your per meal cost otherwise. And the food lasts so you can spread out the 4-meal deal over a few days. Finally, as far as I can tell, the fried chicken seems to be available at Southern Rail all the time and not just as a special.

Link to Southern Rail Website

Link to Beckett's Table Website 

PS: By way of full disclosure, the owner of these restaurants lives around the corner. By way of fuller disclosurer, we've never met. However, I've made some suggestions to his co-owner/manager as a result of which I've had some nice email interchanges with his wife whom I've never met as well. 

Trump's Thinking Outside the Box

You might have to go to the blog itself to see this:

Coronavirus Relief Often Pays Workers More Than Work

[Prefatory Note: The key points of this WSJ article as summarized here are interesting for sure. The full article can be read by clicking on the link below]

"Roughly half of all U.S. workers stand to earn more in unemployment benefits than they did at their jobs before the coronavirus pandemic shut down swaths of the U.S. economy, a result of government relief that employers say is complicating plans to reopen businesses. Qualified workers will receive the government payout every week through July, and in most cases, the combined $978 weekly payout amounts to better pay than what many workers received before the crisis hit. Labor Department statistics show half of full-time workers earned $957 or less each week in the first quarter of 2020.

"That money in consumers’ pockets in turn puts the U.S. economy on firmer footing to rebound once authorities allow businesses to reopen. But enhanced benefits also create disincentives that might hamper efforts by employers to recall workers when some states are trying to reopen their economies. It is possible that Workers could ask their bosses to leave them on furlough so they can collect the larger payments while avoiding health risks. Employers, meanwhile, are in the position of asking workers to get back on the payroll, either so companies can reopen or the business can qualify for forgiveness of government loans."

Link to WSJ Article

Freezing Strawberries

Contrary to an earlier post, freezing strawberries doesn't really work. It turns them, upon being thawed, into mush.  Sorry. 

The Numbers and the Statistics Related to COVID-19

One of the major stresses when sheltering-in-place are arguments over what the latest reported figures mean and portend. Unfortunately, only those who understand statistics understand why almost everything one hears on TV or one surmises on one's own from the numbers shown on TV is wrong. I don't have the energy to set out and explain the numerator problems, the denominator problems, the sampling problems, the reporting problems, or the testing problems, or any of the other problems that make the validity, reliability, consistency, replicative ability, and predictability of the statistics misleading at best. I humbly offer this observation not to be didactic or a smarty pants, but rather with the hope that sheltering cellmates will consult a statistician rather than fight among themselves, and thereby reduce by one the number of issues that might be causing friction. This link explains all this way better than me (without even mentioning the words statistics or numbers), and it is short and you can be assured you will enjoy it: Link to a Very Clever Piece

In any event, here are some articles that are enlightening on the matter:

Link to Atlantic Article

Link to Another Atlantic Article

Link to Bloomberg Article

Pence Might Be as Dumb as Trump

The only thing that rivals the level of Trump's narcissism is Pence's sychophantism. But it turns out Pence might be both as dumb as Trump and match Trump's ability to say anything no matter how insane or otherwise detached from reality. On April 28, Pence visited the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Mayo's policy was that everyone had to wear a mask when in the hospital. Pence refused. His explanation for that refusal: "I thought it’d be a good opportunity for me to be here, to be able to speak to these researchers these incredible health-care personnel and look them in the eye and say thank you."  On the other hand, on the same day, Trump, likely not wanting to be outdone by Pence on the are you kidding me meter, note the following: "On February 26, President Trump boasted that the coronavirus was about to disappear altogether from the United States. 'You have 15 people, and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero,' he insisted. A reporter asked him today how that prediction is holding up, given that the United States now has surpassed 1 million confirmed coronavirus cases. Trump insisted he had been right all along."

“Well, it will go down to zero, ultimately,” he said.

New Wi-Fi and Charging Technologies: Better and Faster

Wi-Fi 6E will be rolling out providing speedier internet connections for all one's devices. It's explained in this cnet article: Link to cnet Article re Wi-Fi 6e

Charging all your USB-C devices (which all newer phones, tablets, and computers) are has gotten much easier travel-wise and much faster. It's explained in this cnet article: Link to cnet Article re Charging

Chocolate Banana Ice Cream in 2 Minutes

Many loyal readers have written in asking about what they can do with their over-ripe bananas. We put our Culinary Office Operations Kluge (COOK) to work and they came up with a delicious and simple recipe that takes just a couple of minutes to prepare: 2- Ingredient Chocolate banana ice cream with fruit. Be sure to serve it to your cellmate as a surprise, and you'll be able to take much deserved pride when you watch the glee you will have generated.

 

Ingredients: 

2-6 bananas, cut into 1-inch pieces and frozen

1-2 tablespoons cocoa, cacao, or carob powder

Toppings of your choice: berries, kiwi, plums, flakes, nibs

Instructions:

In a food processor, process the bananas until they start to break down into the ice cream.

Turn off the processor. Scrape down the sides and add in the cacao.

Allow it to process again for another 3-4 minutes, or until fluffy and smooth. You may need to open and scrape down the sides periodically.

Decorate liberally with toppings.

Note:  You can also make this ice cream in a high speed blender. I have made it successfully with a Vitamix, but you must use a tamper in order for it to work. Just be sure to thaw the bananas for about 10 minutes prior to ease the blending.

PS re Upscale Retirement Communities

Here are some things about upscale retirement communities such as Sagewood in Phoenix or Mirabella in Tempe of which I was blissfully ignorant in earlier posts:

1. The reservation down payment of 10% of the entrance fee (cost of the unit) is essentially risk free. It is totally or 99.9% refundable at any time before you move in (and perhaps even for a few months after you move in and decide you don't like it and move out). The advantage of doing this down payment early is, while it has no effect on what your monthly fees will be, you lock-in the entrance fee protecting yourself against rises in price that likely will take place between the time you make the down payment and you actually decide to move in.

2. While such communities have assisted living and other such facilities as part of their complex, the fee for "moving" and staying into them might be bundled in the monthly fee or might not be. Hence, this is an area one might do well to be sure what is included in the monthly fee as well as take note if you have a long-term care policy how that might or might not come into play.

3. Most people moving into a retirement community will be selling their house or condo and using the proceeds to pay the entrance fee. These retirement communities can be of significance help during the period where you've moved in but not sold your house or condo. This is certainly an area one might do well to explore with the community before flipping the switch.

4. When dealing with any retirement community rep, it is well to remember you are dealing with a sales person. That's not a bad thing or reason to shun a retirement community. But it is a reason, as my good friend Rudyard Kipling would tell you, "to keep your head about you."

Smart Upscaler

[Courtesy of Gizmo's Freeware]

Smart Upscaler is a free, fast and easy way to automatically enlarge and clarify images. This online tool is good at enlarging small images and enhancing out of focus or grainy images quickly and easily. Sharpening, noise reduction, and upscaling are all performed automatically. Results are subtle but noticeable in most images.

The service is simple to use and there is no account required to use it. Upload an image 5Mb or less by browsing or drag and drop. Images are enlarged 2x by default and can be enlarged to 4x (up to 3000 x 3000px). After a short time the image is processed and ready for download as a JPG. You can compare the before and after images by hovering over the results after the image is processed.  Images in JPEG or PNG format that are smaller than 3000x3000 px in resolution having the best results. Uploaded images are stored securely and deleted as soon as processing has completed.

Link to Smart Upscaler Website

Nude Selfies Are Now High Art

The NYT has a wonderful piece entitled "Nude Selfies Are Now High Art." It not only reminds us of our humanity, but elevates it, as it embodies the wonderful gift of sharing. Lest you think this is some kind of porn, soft or otherwise, which it is not as any docent will tell you, be sure to watch the video that accompanies the story and appears below (although you likely have to go to the blog itself to see it, and be sure to click on the full screen button in the lower right). 

Link to NYT Story

Proof the NYT Feeds My Letters to Its Contributors

On Friday April 24, I submitted a letter to the NYT and posted its text here. Here is a link to that post: Link to Earlier Post  On Sunday April 26, Michelle Goldberg, using a few more words and admittedly saying it better, clearly had been fed my letter. Here is a link to her terrific, albeit depressing, piece: Link to Michelle Goldberg Piece

Suggestion for AJ's (Phoenix Grocery)

Here is the text of a suggestion made to AJ's regarding its recent pizza promotion: "In the Sunday Arizona Republic at Page A-1, you advertise $5 off any large "Hand-Tossed" Brick Oven Pizza. You might reconsider promoting your pizza as "hand-tossed," that being a feature at least some consumers might not find desirable given the circumstances." 

It Could Have Been Much Worse

If you're down and troubled, just think how much worse this could have been (other than the fact that even if Buchanan had been president there would have been an improvement on that front and Fox News wouldn't have been around which would have been a good thing). Specifically, just suppose this happened in 1950: no internet; no meaningful tv; no streaming; no smart phones; no ordering online; no going to the library to get books; no books on tape; no podcasts; no you tube; no computers; and on and on and on, and no this blog for which the below song was presciently written.

Link to Song re This Blog

Darwin's Ultimate Test

Darwinism is the theory that  all species of organisms arise and develop through the natural selection of small, inherited variations that increase the individual's ability to compete, survive, and reproduce. The pandemic presents a real-time test of the veracity of that theory. Put bluntly, if Darwin was right, we should see a difference in those "abilities," especially the second one, between those who protest the shut-down and refuse to engage in social distancing, and those who follow Trump's suggested treatments, and those who follow the inanity put out by Fox News and other media nut-jobs, and those who reject the MSM as fake news and those who have a semblance of a brain.

Getting the Restart Right

Sam Walker's piece in the WSJ about "Getting the Restart Right" is far more thoughtful than what one hears from Wall Street and other financial pundits. As he put it, not only would "returning to the familiar ... be a mistake," "[t]he problem is that business, as we knew it, cannot be recovered. It will need to be reinvented."

Link to the Full Article

The Real Coronavirus War

Text of Letter to the NYT (okay, it won't be published ... its a screech after a long week):

"While there is a war being waged against the coronavirus, as bad our casualties are in that war, there is a far more profound war going on: It is a war for the soul of America. On the one side is the president, girded by the Republican party, a propaganda spewing cable news outlet, the basket of his extreme supporters who apparently have lost or never had their minds, and even scientists who have been corrupted. On the other side are facts, truth, science, and citizens who can differentiate between idiocy and sanity, and have the courage to follow what their hearts and minds tell them is the right thing to do and ignore those who knuckle under to the president and who refuse to stand up to him and say: You need to leave and you need to leave now. Some day there will be a vaccine and the virus will be defeated. It just might not be in time to defeat the dark, corrosive forces that threaten to eviscerate the soul of this country."

PS to Some VERY SPECIAL loyal readers and a precious 3 yo: The original draft did not have the line: "You need to leave and you need to leave now." It actually read, "You need to go back to your apartment." 

Tonic Is Back

I would guess given the debunking and FDA squashing of Trump's, Fox News's, and Dr. Oz's hyperbolic recommendation for a quinine based COVID-19 treatment, which turns out to kill people to answer Trump's question, "What do you have to lose?", tonic water no longer is a scarce item subject to outrageous price gouging. It's now available all over the place including Total Wine and Fry's at its normal prices. So, you can put those martinis back in a sack mister, and return to your vodka or gin and tonics without skimping on the tonic. Who said there wasn't light at the end of the tunnel?

How Dr. Birx Should Have Dealt With Trump

At the Thursday presser, Trump suggested that ingesting or getting injected with disinfectant might be a good treatment for COVID-19, and asked Dr. Birx whether that made sense to her. Putting yet another (and no longer needed) nail in the coffin holding her reputation, character, and common sense by letting the president's suggestion hang out there, Dr. Birx missed a golden opportunity. Here's what she should have said: "Thank you, Mr. President, for seeking my counsel. I think you've stumbled on an excellent suggestion, and here's how you could save many lives and perhaps the country itself: "Drink a whole bottle or two of Lysol. And, please, just before doing so, send out a tweet asking your supporters and the Fox News prime time hosts to do the same." And as to using u/v inside the body as Trump suggested, Dr. Birx might have told Trump it would be good idea if he shoved an u/v flashlight up his [term omitted because this is a family blog].

Another Tip to Improve the Sheltering-in-Place Experience With a Partner

[Prefatory Note: This tip is not for both partners. It will only help if the correct partner uses it. So, please pay attention to the selection process and do not just leap to the tip]

Selection Process: In a 2-person sheltering-in-place situation, one person is far more adept at handling all the new stuff and has a much better way of figuring out and executing both the old and the new tasks that are being faced, and, as or more important, has a superior demeanor and ability to handle the stress and strain that sheltering-in-place imposes. That said, the following tip is for that person and should not be attempted by the other person.

Tip: Schedule two (2) time slots each day, one early and one late (breakfast and dinner make it easier than slotting a remembering specific times), and call them: Our special time for the airing of grievances. Then, the person who qualifies under the above selection process can use that time (putting a time limit of say 15-30 minutes is not a bad idea) to tell the other person all the things that person needs to improve on doing or stop doing altogether to make life in the shelter more endurable and pleasant.

[PS: This tip might not work for you. But as Trump would say, "What do you have to lose?"]

Two Bill Reduction Suggestions

Cox Cable (and Perhaps Other Cable Companies): It turns out that you just might be able to get through quickly (particularly using their loyalty number), and end up chatting with a very nice rep in Alabama who, particularly if you do some friendly and caring schmoozing, will take a serious look at what discounts might be available that you currently don't have. It just might turn out that, while they won't drop your sports coverage stuff that you're paying $13/month for, you will get an additional $13/month discount over what you are now paying. 

Insurance: In addition to other ways to reduce your insurance premiums noted in earlier blog posts, you might also look at raising your car and home deductibles. Note, umbrella policies typically do not have adjustable deductibles.  

[PS: Neither call might do you any good. But as Trump would say, "What do you have to lose?"]

Trump's Missed Opportunity: Praise the Lord

Putting aside what will happen in the election, the hidden enemy, as Trump calls it, just might have given Trump the opportunity not only to have won re-election in November, but to have won in a landslide. Instead of playing to his base in his usual way of attack, divide, lie, and divert, imagine if Trump actually had put the scientists in charge of setting out the strategy of what the country had to do, while Trump implemented (strongly, as he would say) the components of the strategy through the DPA and calling on all the governors to follow the direction of the scientists and otherwise, and rallied the country to stick together in honest terms of where things stood at any moment while laying out a reasonable time table and plan for recovery. Trump would not have lost one vote from his base, they would turn out big time to vote for him, and he likely would pick up a huge number of voters who did not want to risk changing horses while the crisis was still going--particularly where Biden would have little if anything to offer that would be seen as an improvement. As far as the election goes then (putting aside all the harm he will have done until the next inaugural day), fortunately, it would seem that it is impossible for Trump to be anything but the corrosive, sociopathic, moronic, narcissist that he is.   

Relatedly, there is a moronic segment of our population that seems to not care about anything sane or fact based or science based. Let's hope that number is not big enough to give Trump victory in the election. If Cuomo, Newsome, Sherrod Brown, Michelle Obama, and a host of others were running, it would be a landslide election. And if it were Cuomo or Michelle Obama, or Cuomo and Michelle Obama, or Michelle Obama and Cuomo, it would be a bigger than landslide election. Hell, Hillary could win this time given that: Comey no longer is head of the FBI; the antipathy toward her has probably diminished; and many voters would say, “Wow, I get a mulligan. And I’m not making the same mistake again.”

Even Bush Got Out of the Way

When the mortgage crisis of 2008 hit, George W. Bush, one of the dumbest and worst presidents the country ever had, who left office with a 26% approval rating, did a brilliant thing: He called Treasury Secretary Paulsen and Fed Chair Bernanke into the Oval Office and said this: "I have no clue what's going on in the economy or the banking world or the market, and I have no idea what to do, so you guys do whatever you think needs to be done and I will back you at every turn and do whatever you tell me to do." In essence, Chancellor Merkel has taken precisely that course in Germany, turning the pandemic response over to the scientists, and Germany is doing better than just about any other country. All I can say is: I wish Bush were president. I'm sure Dr. Birx shares my wish, as she stands there confirming that Trump has the uncanny ability to warp beyond recognition anything and everything that gets near him.

Converting Your Costco Reward Gift Certificate to an Online Shopping Card

Executive members at Costco Wholesale get Reward Gift Certificates each year depending on how much stuff they bought. Under the terms of the certificate which is mailed to you, it can be used only in the Costco stores and cannot be used for online shopping. However, if you have 20 minutes to spare waiting on hold, you would find out that in fact, if you have a good reason for not going into a store, you can mail the certificate to Costco (at 1455 11th Avenue, NW, Issaquah, WA 98027), provided your account number, and state the reason you do not want to go into a store, and they will mail you a "shop card" which you can use at Costco.com. 

Two Ways to a Better Sheltering-in-Place With a Partner

Every loyal reader and many others with shelter-in-place-mates have asked for my secret as to how to keep one's environs more pleasant and reduce the frictions that often occur, particularly as the day wears on and on and on and on. Here are two recommendations, and it is suggested that you might try both and see which works best for you (although you might find one works better sometimes and other works better sometimes):

Recommendation 1: Look your mate in the eye, and in an elevated and forceful tone say: "You are really getting on my nerves and you need you to do [X] or stop doing [X]" (filling in for X description of the conduct you want done or stopped).

Recommendation 2: Take a deep cleansing breath, look your mate in the eye, and in a very calm and soft tone say: "My nerves are quite frayed at the moment, so I'm going to [X] until they are less frayed" (filling in X for your exiting to a room and closing the door or taking a walk or some other outdoor activity).

PS: We do have one way of handling that matter that, given the science so far, seems to not work as well as the above recommendations. And that is to say in any tone or any time: "I can't take it any more. Get out of here." 

The Final Corruption of Dr. Birx

At Trump's presser today, Dr. Birx was asked if she would give her view as to the Georgia governor's decision to open up massage parlor's and the like and how doing so was consistent with the social distancing rules under even Phase One of the presidential guidelines which she wrote. After three attempts just to dodge the question, and then blathering on about the importance of social distancing and that different locations are different, she said: "It is not my job to second guess or give my view as to the decision of any governmental official." It's just a shame Ludwig Wittgenstein wasn't in the audience to ask her, "Well, then, what is your job?" or "Well, then, whose job is it?"

What America at Its and Human Beings at Their Best and Worst Looks Like

[Front Page of the Arizona Republic, April 21]

Refined Prediction re 2020 Election

In an April 15 post, I predicted Trump would lose in November. I very well might be a total naïve fool and cockeyed optimist, but, in addition to the reasons stated in that post, I re-affirm my prediction (which I also find a boosting spirit) based on the following additional reason: Trump won by the narrowest of margins in a few key states, and I just don’t see where, in any state, he gets more votes in 2020 than he got in 2016. In support of this conclusion, it is meet to note that, by every indication: he’s lost the suburban women; he’s clearly going to get fewer white college educated votes; while Biden is blah or worse, no one dislikes him like they disliked Hillary; while many of the voters who voted for Trump were looking for a "change" in 2016, many if not most of them are going to be looking for a mulligan in 2020; and, finallly, just too many people have been devastated in too many ways to say, "yeah, this is the guy I want to hitch my wagon too or keep my wagon hitched to."  

Precious Moments From Trump's Sunday Presser

The media, commentators, politicians, and others are not shy to lambaste Trump for his self-pitying and self-aggrandizement. At the April 19 presser, Trump's woes had to earn him the sympathy of even the most ardent Anti-Trumpers when the video clip Trump played of Governor Cuomo's praising of Trump failed to include the key moment Trump wanted to be played (as well as earning the sympathy of the person responsible for playing the clip who certainly has no job today). You can see it by clicking on the link below and sliding the button to 27:30, where it all begins, and have a glorious schadenfreude

Link to Excerpt From Presser 

Understanding there likely is no loyal reader who has the patience or the stomach to watch Trump at his pressers, here is what happened, and I am NOT kidding: Trump said he wanted to play a clip of what Cuomo said about what great work Trump had done, and then he played the clip. Cuomo was praising the Army Corps of Engineers for setting up hospital beds and did say something nice about Trump, and then the clip stopped. Trump was perturbed ... as he explained, "Wait, the best part has been left out. Where Cuomo said what I had done was 'phenomenal,'" and asked for the clip to be re-cued. Soon thereafter, Trump said the full clip was now available, and directed it be played again. Again, the word "phenomenal" didn't show up, and Trump was beside himself as he told the audience they really should hear how much Cuomo praised him, stressing that Cuomo used the word "phenomenal." And if you think it ended there, it didn't ... there was a third playing of the clip and again it did not have the word "phenomenal," ...and again Trump explained what the clip would have shown if something hadn't gone wrong. This summary does not do justice to the theater of it all. The pathos. The agony. 

Relatedly, a loyal reader notified us of CNN's summary of 52 off-the-wall statements by Trump during the same presser: Link to CNN List of Off-the-Wallers

What Sports Will Look Like

If the 6-foot social distancing protocol is still in effect when big time (pro or amateur) sports resume, the games are going to look very weird: Fouls in basketball thankfully will disappear; blocking and tackling and lining up at scrimmage in football will be no more; and, in baseball, the home plate umpire will have to re-calibrate the strike zone from his new, vantage point, the catcher had better be adept at snagging all pitches on the bounce, and stealing second base will become a much shorter run. But the biggest change of all will be golf where fans no longer will be able to enjoy the warmth and sportsmanship of the players and caddies shaking hands at the end of the round or similarly in tennis where the opponents hug each other at the net at the end of a match and then shake hands with the chair referee. 

6 Feet Apart Is Further Than You Think: Tech Tools to Help You Keep a Safe Distance

[Insert and article from the WSJ. One point I'd add from a loyal reader is this: If you do nothing else and want to observe the 6-foot guideline, take out a tape measure, stretch it out to 6 feet, and see whether or not that looks like a longer distance than you had thought 6 feet was. PS: If the insert doesn't appear in your email, you can see it on the blog website]

A pair of friends were sitting at opposite ends of a bench, each with beverages in their hands, chatting from a distance. A handful of people in activewear were panting heavily on the steps, paying careful attention to dodge each other as they raced up and down. On the grass, two off-leash dogs—that were certainly not from the same household—circled each others’ butts before starting to play-fight. The dogs’ humans were forced to temporarily un-distance themselves to separate the pets. One guy was doing burpees inside a fenced-off playground marked “CLOSED” to get away from it all.

In the quarantine era, being outside is one of the last bastions of normalcy left. Schools and bars are closed, and offices of companies whose employees are lucky enough to work from home are empty. Meanwhile, green spaces and sidewalks are getting more crowded—making it difficult to maintain the minimum 6 feet of social distancing recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Transmission of the coronavirus, through respiratory droplets, is more likely when people are in close contact, the CDC says.

As days grow longer and balmier, outdoor spaces will only get busier—raising the risk that more parks and outdoor public spaces will need to close. Many sidewalks are too narrow for keeping a safe distance, which is why Rails-to-Trails Conservancy is calling for cities to temporarily close more streets to vehicle traffic so walkers and bikers have more room, the group’s vice president of communications, Brandi Horton, said.

The answer isn’t to stay inside all the time. The CDC, among other experts, says being physically active and enjoying open spaces is a great way to keep healthy and relieve stress. But we do need to stay away from each other—and tech can help. So, here are some tools that can help you avoid the crowds and ensure that you’re maintaining the recommended distance.

Photo: Strava

The Latest on Coronavirus and Business

If your go-to trail is suddenly the hottest spot in town, then it’s time to find something new.

Strava, the activity-tracking app, can help you find alternative routes for running, walking and riding. It released a new feature in beta called Routes to help people find more places to run or ride from their front door. It’s available only to subscribers ($5 a month after a 30-day trial) in the app.

Go to the Explore tab in the bottom row, then tap Routes. The feature shows you three route suggestions based on preferences such as desired distance, with your current location as a starting point.

Using the map icon in the top right, turn on the Global Heatmap layer, which shows the popularity of any section of your route. The darker the road or trail, the more people have taken that route within the past two years.

AllTrails identifies lightly treaded trails nearby. The app, which is free for iOS and Android devices, shows top hiking spots close to your location. (There’s also a premium subscription option for $2.50 a month that allows you to download maps offline.)

To find hidden gems, filter results by “light” trail traffic, informed by users who record hikes with the app. Opt for loops rather than out-and-backs to minimize encounters with others. If you’re up for it, consider a trail rated as moderate or hard difficulty that most won’t attempt—but not if it’s beyond your skill level. (Anything that might require medical attention or emergency services should be avoided.)

Meaghan Praznik, an AllTrails spokeswoman, said according to the app’s activity data, the quietest times to hike are weekday mornings, while the busiest times tend to be after work during the week, and late mornings and early afternoons on weekends. Stay away from trailheads with large parking lots, as those tend to draw more hikers, she advised.

Before your next grocery run, consult Google’s popular times to see if it’s crowded. This is a feature that automatically appears in search results for restaurants, grocery stores and other businesses. A Google spokeswoman said the data is based on average popularity “over the past several months.” This means that the estimates shown might not accurately reflect crowds during the pandemic.

However, if you see a pink “Live” indicator, that is a good representation of how many people are there, right now. The information is pulled from people who opted into Location History and have a Google app, such as Maps or Search, running on their phone. The spokeswoman said “Live” insights are only shown when there is sufficient data to protect the privacy of individuals.

Tip When Driving: Take a Mask and Gloves With You

Let's say your driving to a restaurant to do a curbside, drop-in-the-trunk, no-contact pick-up of a delicious Sunday night dinner and to help a local restaurant whose owner lives around the corner. You have no need for a mask or gloves in the car, and you typically don't wear a mask or gloves when taking your daily walks. But wait, what happens if you get in accident, or get stopped by a police officer, or your car breaks down? In such circumstances, it just might be wise to have a mask and gloves in the car. Toward that end, don't trust your memory to always take a mask and gloves with you because doing so is not part of your muscle memory. Instead, better to stow an extra mask and gloves in your car's glove and mask compartment. 

Trump's Blame China Strategy

As the NYT explained in its lead story on Sunday, April 19, the Trump campaign's strategy for November is to blame China for the pandemic: "Republicans increasingly believe that elevating China’s culpability for spreading the coronavirus may be the best way to improve their difficult election chances." I tuned in to Fox News (for under 10 minutes) to see if this theme was playing there, and it absolutely was, with "expert" commentary addressing the investigation taking place to expose China's culpability, which it surely will. In true bumper sticker form, the messaging is clear: "China lied--people died." So, when it comes to the election, the morons that support Trump will be voting to keep in office whose bottom-line defense is: "You cannot blame me for being a stupid head for believing the Chinese." 

In the meantime, it will not be published but here is another letter the NYT will not publish:

"Trump’s pressers are campaign rallies or, more precisely, infomercials for his latest grievances and for singing his own praises. That Drs. Fauci and Birx stand there as props along with whomever else Trump drags in for the event to heap praise upon him does neither the country nor their reputations any good. They don’t need Trump to do the service they clearly want to provide. Even if he fired them, they can speak out as to what should be done and needs to be done. Whether or not they speak truth to power behind the scenes is of little moment. They need to leave Trump to his pressers without them and speak unshackled truth to the country without Trump’s menacing presence less than 6 feet away."

How Looking in Your Pantry Can Help Others (Especially Kids)

We have a neighborhood email list. An email came today which read as follows: "Hello Neighbors. A friend of mine works for one of the school districts in the Phoenix area that has been hit very hard by school closures. With the schools closed they are working very hard to make sure the kids are getting at least 2 meals a day. These are meals they used to get at school. I have offered to do a food drive at my house. If any of you have nonperishable items you would like to donate please come by my place on Thursday evening between 5 – 7 pm. I will have a laundry basket at the end of the driveway. My sister-in-law and I will be in the front having a safe distancing visit. I will have a face mask and gloves on if you need me to come to your car. If everyone brings just one can of food we could make a big difference for some of the most vulnerable members of our state. Attached is a list of items they need the most but anything is great." 

I took a look in my pantry and was stunned (indeed, a bit mortified and embarrassed) by how much there was that met the list or otherwise would be appropriate to donate. There is no shortage of need by school districts and food banks, and likely much stuff just sitting in pantries itching to do some good.

What the Next Two Years Will Look Like

[The below link will take you to a comprehensive piece in Sunday's NYT about what the next two years might look like. Some of it is depressing. Some of it is eye-opening (e.g., the discrimination that will befall those who fail to test as being not able to infect others). And some of it is grounds for hope (e.g., the decline of the Republican Party and its so-called philosophy and the expansion of social safety net programs and medical coverage ... "If a vaccine saves lives, many Americans may become less suspicious of conventional medicine and more accepting of science in general —including climate change ... The blue skies that have shone above American cities during this lock-down era could even become permanent").

Link to NYT Article

PS: If the discrimination does become a reality (where you need the correct "papers" to be exempt from the social distancing and shelter-at-home rules), what happens in the case of a couple where one has the "papers" and the other does not?

Enlisting in the Armed Services

The armed services, each of which has its own age limits for enlisting, have raised the maximum age one can attain and still be eligible to enlist. There are some amazing career opportunities and benefits of joining the military. The age limits for reserve units are even higher. Here is a snapshot re each service and a link to an article with more detail about enlisting and the benefits, opportunities, etc.:

Link to Overview Article

Charitable Giving By People Over 70

With the RMD being suspended this year, there is no tax benefit to seniors doing QCDs from their IRAs. That said, if there is any particular charity or charities you support every year (Donor Advised CGFs don't count), you might check with the charity to see if they have a greater need at this time for help in which case you might want to help as you can, but if they don't, and they are fine waiting til next January, doing a double QCD then would maximize your tax benefit (which might lead to give perhaps a little bit more). Here's a WSJ article on the matter (which you might have to go to the blog itself to see):

The Moron Bicyclists

This is just a rant: After you're done putting on you little outfits and getting your pack of riders together to ride in close concert, and hopping onto your bikes, while it surely is too much to ask you to change your habit of going with the traffic (of which there is none anyhow) instead of contrary to traffic as walkers and runners do, if there's any way you could stay 6 feet away from walkers and runners you pass, especially when you sneak up on them silently from the back, it not only would be appreciated, but also would lessen the likelihood of otherwise pacific people going into uncontrollable bike rage which the second amendment allows them to do? Or are you all members of the moronic horde that support Trump?

Program Does Not Open in Same Size Window It Had Been In

Usually, if you close the window holding the Shift key down, when it re-opens, the window will be the same size it was when you closed it. But, if you are using a second monitor (e.g., you have a laptop but it is connected to a full-sized monitor), then what you need to do is this: Disconnect the cable to the second monitor, do the close with Shift key on the lap top, and then plug back in the second monitor cable, and you should be fine.

Another fix to try is to right-click on the Taskbar, click on Cascade windows, re-size the offending window, close it, and then hit un-Cascade, and the window should open to the size it was when closed.

Easiest fix is to size the offending window to the desired size, and then press down and hold the left CTRL key while closing the window.

The HMS Donald Trump Titanic

[Courtesy of someone to a loyal reader to us]

Two Websites to Find Difficult to Find Stuff

[Prefatory Note: You'd think everyone in the world is a loyal reader, but they're not. This tip is from someone who is not a loyal reader]

Below is the link to two websites where you can set alerts and they will notify you when either Amazon, Walmart or Target get the items you select in stock. It's kind of annoying getting the alerts but it worked for me. I got an alert and immediately clocked the link.

Seemingly better site: Link to NowInStock Website

The other site: Link to Supply Finder Website

Screenshot from NowInStock (you might have to go to the blog to see it):

Possible Way to Get Around Instacart

If you are grocery shopping for pick-up or delivery through Instacart, which many groceries use, you know how bad Instacart is. They lose orders. They duplicate orders. They pay their shoppers peanuts. And they have no phone or email help ... only chat ... and if you try that route, expect to start out at number 903 in the chat queue. Here is a story of what one loyal reader did, which turned into a win/win for the reader and the shopper:

The reader had a delivery from Sprouts by the Instacart shopper. He sensed during the shopping she was very professional, smart, friendly, and accommodating. In talking to her when she made the delivery, his senses were confirmed as accurate. She does care-taking for an elderly person which involves shopping for her. So, the loyal reader proposed that she be his personal shopper, whereby all the Instacart problems are obviated, and he would pay her such that she makes more money than she would on an Instacart run. Now, here's the really cool thing: Sprout's let's one create a list with pictures of the products and prices which it will total for you, so each week, the loyal reader creates a list, prints it, scans it and sends to the shopper along with a Venmo or Zelle payment, and she stays in touch during the shopping in the event a replacement might be needed or other issue arises. 

[PS: While this account references Sprouts, likely other grocery stores let you create such picture lists, which really are the key to having this work]

When to Go All-In in the Stock Market

Spurred on by loyal readers express appreciation for tips on investing in the market, here is one everyone should follow and the predicate for the tip:

Predicate: What we are going through will end. It's going to take a vaccine to do it, but there will be a vaccine. Attention will have to turn to how never again to be as unprepared as we were for and as inept in dealing as we were with this pandemic, and in re-doing our education system so that the country does not have enough morons and Faustian-bargainers to elect a corrupt, depraved, narcissistic moron, but we will have a period of respite.

Market Tip: The day to go all-in in the market is the day before a vaccine is announced, and then fade the rally the next day taking your enormous profits. And then do something good with them.

Advanced Look at New Yorker Cartoon Puzzle Winner

You might have to view this on the blog itself, but here is what is going to be the winning entrant in the pending New Yorker cartoon contest. I won't disclose who submitted this entry, but let's say he's very excited and very confident.

Trump Always Embraces His Base ... Even If It Is Shrinking

At his presser on Thursday (April 16), Trump was asked what he would tell the protesters in Michigan and elsewhere who are objecting to the social distancing stuff, just like the parishioners who have sued California to allow them to open up their churches for services, and Trump, in his "there are good people ... on both sides," explained how he understood how difficult social distancing was and how sympathetic he was to their plight, and did not even hint that they perhaps should cut it out for the good of everyone. What would be a nice result on the church front is that churches would be allowed to hold services as long as they provided cots for attendees to sleep in and no one gets to leave until there is a vaccine. All that said, the recent Gallup poll numbers give one cautious optimism that that base is shrinking.

How to Know What the Stock Market Is Going to Do

Then Fed Chair Alan Greenspan, who admits his blunder in missing the 2008 mortgage crisis, was asked if anyone warned him about the looming mortgage crisis. "Absolutely, yes," he answered, but then went on to explain he had a virtual bell-curve of advice and the referenced warning was just at one end of that curve. If you have nothing better to do some afternoon, tune into CNBC after the market closes and watch for a while. You will hear from people far more knowledgeable than you about the market, with far more experience, and likely far more money, span the gamut from the market is going to sell off from here and stay low for at least a decade given that what we are facing is akin to (or perhaps worse than) the Great Depression and we don't (we hope) have a world war to look forward to to bring us out of it to this is the beginning of a new bull market which is going to see one of the great snap-back v-shaped recoveries and will soar like a rocket ship to all time new highs, and everything in the bell curve in between. All you need to do, unlike what Greenspan failed to do, is figure out which market pundit is correct. 

PS: I don't know if you would get the same bell-curve watching Fox Business Network. It just might be skewed a bit more to the bull-ish end of the curve. Hell, there might not be a bear story predicted at all.  

Why Trump Doesn't Order More Testing

As loyal readers know, I always give Trump the benefit of the doubt and have defended him mightily on many occasions. But his failure on testing has tried my indulgence. While he flip flops like a fish on a boat deck as to what his powers are (from total to none), he alone has the power under the DPA to order companies to produce the testing stuff needed to test, but he has stiff-neckedly refused to do so. Why you might ask? The answer is simple but flattering to Trump: If there were extensive accurate testing, the numbers you see on the TV screen would be substantially higher, and the one thing Trump wants (and needs to bully whatever states he can to "reopen") is to keep those numbers as low as possible (e.g., he statedly did not want that cruise liner to disembark passengers into the U.S. because, "I want to keep passengers and crew on the ship so that coronavirus cases in the US don't "double").

Prediction re the November Election

I certainly could be wrong, but here’s my current thinking on the election: Trump won in 2016 by the narrowest of margins against a not-great campaigner with enormous baggage who was despised by many and done in by Comey, and times were good so Trump was not seen as a threat to anything … a moron and a clown but not a threat. The coronavirus has inflicted enormous and untold medical, economic, and psychological pain on just about everyone. Things are not going to be much better in November. I realize there is a hard core Fox News group of morons who support and will vote for Trump. But it’s going to be dwindling group everywhere including the battle ground states. Biden is a terrible choice for sure. Cuomo or Newsome would ring up the biggest victory ever. But, at the end of the day as they say, I think a parakeet with no ad budget would beat Trump.

PS: As to what any polling says to the contrary, doing any kind of meaningful sampling upon which one can reach reliable and valid results (and those are technical statistic terms, not plain day English) is essentially impossible, especially in the age of the cellphone. The only people sitting at home who answer their landlines are watching Fox News.

Beckett's Table (in Phoenix)

Beckett's Table has a meatloaf special this Saturday or Sunday that feeds four and includes a bottle of wine. Here is the detail of the menu: romaine & bloomsdale spinach veggie chop salad, dinner rolls with whipped butter, BT signature veal & beef meatloaf, yukon gold mashed potatoes, seasonal veggies, carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, bottle of havenscourt cabernet sauvignon. At $95, that's not a bad price for four meals and a bottle of wine, and it helps not only a local business, but a neighbor of ours (who lives in a house I covet, which Dr. Mills used to live in). Even though you're buying alcohol, the curbside is "drop in the trunk" provided you order online (if you order by phone, then you have to show them your driver's license and sign a credit card slip). 

PS: Beckett also owns Southern Rail which has among other stuff killer fried chicken. 

Link to Beckett's Table Website

Link to Southern Rail Website